Toilet Paper That Makes You Poop Better, Etc.

According to this loud, colorful wrapping on these toilet paper rolls, if you wipe your shit with this stuff your bowel movements will improve. I don't think there's any science to it, but there is a little diagram pointing to the constipation pressure point on your hand.

Actually, let me back up a sec and be more specific. The yellow roll facilitates pooping; the pink and green are more educational, teaching you has-been words (in Japanese they're called "dead words," words that used to be popular but aren't anymore) and Chinese characters for different fish species, respectively.