Dear Mango: A Spanking New Advice Column for the Stumped Japanophile

Guess what? I decided to start a weekly advice column. Here's the first letter, from reader Derek in Canada:

Hello Lisa!

I'm involved in a relationship with a Japanese girl. We've been together for almost a year and a half, and she just moved back to Japan to continue her studies. My goal is to go over in April on a working holiday visa and secure a job that will enable me to stay with her. The problem is, I'm only 19 and I have no idea where to begin!! I'm so sorry if this seems completely random to you, but I'm trying to pull on all my resources. I lived with a host family in Japan for a year during school, but didn't have to worry about living expenses then. I have JLPT3, but I believe I'm above that. Anything at all that you can tell me would be much appreciated—anything to get me and my girlfriend back together.

Warm regards,
Derek C.

Feel free to respond in the comments section and help this lovestruck Canadian man out! And if you have more Japan-themed questions or dilemmas you need advice on—whether it's where to find an obscure Japanese gadget or how to resolve a persistent conflict with your salaryman colleague—email me and maybe you'll see it up here next week!

Comments

[beaumac]

dude you are only 19? are you nuts? dont move for a girl. if you guys love eachother it will work out in the future. Live your life

[sachi0770]

I have a bit of a theory that many young couples go through a "want to get married and have kids right now" phase when they're 18-20.

Believe me, you will snap out of it.

However, going to Japan on a working holiday Visa is a great idea to see how the relationship shapes up. JLPT3 isn't worth anything when you're trying to get a job, though. Many of my friends who live and work in Japan are able to sustain a reasonable income because they have ikkyu as well as the business Japanese certification. Unless you're planning on working at an Eikaiwa (English language school), finding a job will be difficult. Also, Eikaiwas are usually not the best situations...

My suggestion is to GO TO COLLEGE, get your degree then apply for the JET Program or a private teaching gig similar to JET. JET requires a college degree, and to be fair, in this day and age (unless you're planning on being a business owner) your bachelors is required for even the most menial entry level positions.

I hope this doesn't discourage you, but sacrificing your education for a girl isn't the best way to move forward. My advice is to look into doing an Eikaiwa gig in Japan (although, these might also require a college degree) for a few months then come back to the States to go to University.

Hope this helps,
sachi

[pirikara]

I say go for it. After all, you're still young. Move into a gaijin house, get a slave-driving job at NOVA, and spend your hard-earned yen on Prada bags for your girlfriend. If your girlfriend is all for you moving to Japan just for her then she'll help you find an English teaching job. Japan Times classifieds section is a good place to start. If you sense she's not into helping you then take it as a sign.

[Peter]

I agree, don't do anything that stupid just for a girl. Go to college, where you will incidentally meet a googleplex of hot Japanese girls, if that is what you want. Coming to Japan without a degree is all but impossible, and not a good idea at all.

[Mahou]

If you are truly serious about getting back to Japan the fastest way possible, then like Pirikara said, NOVA, AVON, or GABA are the way to go. Many of these companies will hire you without even meeting you until you step foot in the land of the rising sun. They set up housing (although unless your lucky, crappy housing) and the salary is actually pretty good (enough to live comfortably that is.) These programs extend year by year, but most people use it like you want to, to get into Japan beacause it's pretty much a sure thing. Just make sure it's what you want to do before you do it. Goodluck bro.

[Mahou]

but yea... a better idea is to finsh school and do Jet program. I forgot to add that...

[shunsoku]

It's unlikely anyone checks this anymore, but what the hell, my situation might be pertinent to the writer's. I'm 23 and just proposed to my in-College Japanese girlfriend of 1.5 years after living with her for about 8 months in Japan and America. The only difference would be the fact that I have finished college and currently have a stable, well paying job in the states.

Going to Japan to try things out is a good idea, as long as it's tempered with reason and caution. I've considered permanently living in Japan as well and am still considering it. Here's what I'd recommend before breaking out Japanese want ads:

1. Go to College. You can easily find a study abroad program to Japan relatively quickly (2nd year). It's probably the safest and easiest way to experience Japanese life. There are also Japanese job fairs available if you're lucky. Finally, it will let you reach for that last level of fluency you need to live in Japan.
2. Get a Job in Canada, save money. It's far easier to get a job where you live than where you don't. If you're really serious about moving 5000 miles away, you'll need some sort of base for your new life. It will also give you valuable job experience for a new job in Japan.
3. Live alone THEN live with your girlfriend. You need to learn how to independently budget before learning how to budget with someone else. Also, Living together with my other brought out a lot of surprises. You need to learn how to work through them and still share the bathroom.
4. Don't expect anyone to bail you out. Plan accordingly. You're going to be living independently in a different country. It will be difficult for anyone in Canada to help you. You will meet new friends, but it will take time. Always have enough cash to bail you out of Japan (a plane ticket's worth) if things get too dicey.
5. People over there speak Japanese. Don't expect English to get you very far. If you're serious about living there, study Japanese. Whatever tests you've taken don't mean squat compared to being completely immersed in a different language.
6. Reread beaumac's post.
7. Finally, weigh your options carefully again a few questions to help you out:

Have I researched what jobs are available to gaijin? (Google.jp)
Do I know how to get a job in Japan?
What's the average wage/salary that I'll be getting, assuming I find such and such a job?
Where am I/are we going to live?
What's the cost of rent in that location?
What's the cost of daily travel? Train/car/bus/taxi?
How much money do I have to start with?
Do I know how to budget myself accordingly?
Do I know how to budget myself on the lowest Japanese salary I'll get?
Do I have an escape plan?
Would my girlfriend consider moving to my country?

By all means go in April. But don't look at a want ad for a permanent job until you're really sure you want to stay. If it doesn't work out, you could be in for a world of hurt.