TOKYOMANGO

Get your hand-printed limited edition TokyoMango t-shirt now (2 weeks only)

My friend Ben and I made a test run of TokyoMango t-shirts on Saturday. They're really nice, do you want one? If so, you can buy one here. Below are the details:

- All shirts are 100% cotton.
- Each t-shirt will be hand-silk screened by me and Ben on his Yudu machine. The shirt logo was custom-designed by Ben. Mango design courtesy of my web designer James.
- The Women's tees come in a t-shirt style (pistacio and white) and a spaghetti strap ribbed tank (yellow).
- The Men's tees come in orange and white. In the pic above, Ben is actually accidentally wearing a girl's tee, but you get the idea... the sleeves will be more manly on the one you get.
- You can choose a custom colored tee for $25. Just shoot me an email with your preference after you place the order.
- The sizes tend to run a little big (except for the tanktops). They might shrink in the wash.
- Some of you will receive a free surprise Japanese toy or gadget with your t-shirt! I'm just gonna randomly stick them into bags, so keep an eye out.
- We're taking orders over the next two weeks only, at least for this first printing. They'll ship at the end of those two weeks, when Ben & I will silkscreen them by hand.
- Last day to order is Monday, October 5th.

UPDATE: T-shirts are no longer for sale. Maybe we'll do another round sometime!

TokyoMango in Battle of the Blogs

I got an otherwise message-less email with this image file attached to it. It appears that TokyoMango has inadvertently been placed in a battlefield against another Japan blog... the thing is, TokyoMango doesn't battle. She's a peaceful little blog that likes to just hang out on the couch and occasionally go out for some fun. If TokyoMango were a soldier, she'd be the one cooking dinner for everyone back at the barracks and saying silly things to make everyone feel better at the end of a hard day. So I don't know if she'll win this one...

But when someone pits her against another in battle, she'll never say no. Kinda like how I took my friend Ben on in a taco eat-off on Tuesday even though he's way bigger than me.

Cast your vote here.

See your favorite photos of Japan on TokyoMango

Want to share your best Japan photography with us? Send me your best shots of Japan with explanations, and I'll put them on TokyoMango (with a photo credit, of course, and any other info you send along). It could be scenery, a moment captured on film that meant something to you or told you something about Japanese culture, or something just totally abstract or random that looks cool. Thanks!

Contest: Win a TokyoFlash watch in the Team Lazy contest

Last call for the Team Lazy fan contest:

The winner will get to be our team's official fan—you'll get a free PixiMix t-shirt and lots of continuous love from all of us on Team Lazy. All you need to do is show me something that represents how much you want to be our fan--whether it's a poem, a cheer, face paint, or even better, a YouTube video of you reading a poem or doing a cheer while wearing face paint. Email all entries to mango [at] tokyomango [dot] com with the subject line: Team Lazy Fan Contest.

UPDATE: The winner will also win a super cool Japanese watch courtesy of TokyoFlash.

Original post about the contest is here.

Contest: Become my volleyball team's official fan!

This season, my rec league volleyball team, Team Lazy, is sponsored by SF t-shirt company PixiMix (you might recognize their art if you were at my book signing at Double Punch last fall). The super talented guys at PixiMix made these amazing Team Lazy t-shirts in cranberry red and brown. Yaaay PixiMix! There's just one problem: our team needs a dedicated fan.

So here's the deal: I'm holding a PixiMix/TokyoMango/Team Lazy fan contest. The winner will get to be our team's official fan—you'll get a free t-shirt and lots of continuous love from all of us on Team Lazy. All you need to do is show me something that represents how much you want to be our fan--whether it's a poem, a cheer, face paint, or even better, a YouTube video of you reading a poem or doing a cheer while wearing face paint. Email all entries to mango [at] tokyomango [dot] com with the subject line: Team Lazy Fan Contest. (Please make sure you submit your entry in this format, otherwise it'll get lost in my inbox.)

Entries due by April 20th.

Japanese Teen Who Pilots Giant Robot Fails Driving Test

by Grant Goodman
March 19, 2009

A week after discovering a buried giant robot and piloting it to fight off hideous monsters, Sawara Tomonobu failed the test for his driver's license when he was unable to parallel park his 1999 Honda Civic at the Semboku city Department of Transportation.

His father, Subaru Tomonobu, expressed extreme disappointment and frustration with his son's performance: "The boy jumped into the robot, hit a bunch of random switches, pulled on some levers, and flawlessly dispatched of a great threat to human existence. And now he tells me a steering wheel and two pedals are too complex to operate?"

The day before the test, Tomonobu-san successfully fought off three demons from the Earth's core, saving the entire world from being devoured by the imprisoned sons of ancient gods. According to sources on the scene, Sawara struck them all down with a single, arcing spin-kick, struck a cool pose, and stood still as all three demons exploded. Property damage has yet to be determined by the Japanese government.

Tomonobu plans on re-taking the test in two weeks, unless, he adds, "The ancient prophecy comes true and I must venture beneath the surface to fight the Volcano God. But, really, when did prophecies ever come true?"

(Grant was the winner of my Make T-shirt contest; This is a work of fiction.)

The Make t-shirt contest: we have a winner!

Hey guys! Thanks so much for your awesomely entertaining entries to my I'll Make You a Make T-shirt Contest. It was a tough call, but the winner is Grant Goodman for the headline (and article) Japanese Teen Who Pilots Giant Robot Fails Driving Test.

His post will follow this one. Grant, please email me your address and some other info about yourself so I can make you a custom t-shirt.

By the way, if you didn't win but you still want a Make t-shirt, you can buy one here.

TokyoMango's "I'll make you a Make t-shirt" contest

One of the highlights of last week's ETech—besides giving a presentation—was hanging out with the Make Magazine folks while making t-shirts on their portable t-shirt press. I made one with three super-cute characters designed by Mark Frauenfelder that reminded me of me, Ruby, and Malcolm taking a morning walk. It must have been obvious how much I loved it because Mark kindly gave me a bunch of templates that I could iron onto t-shirts myself. Anyway! I decided I'm gonna share the love with a TokyoMango "I'll Make You a Make T-Shirt" contest.

Here are the contest rules:
Make up a fake headline for a TokyoMango story. If you want, you can write the article too. See The Onion for inspiration. Get creative, but not derogatory, please--I'll post the winning entry here after the contest is over. Email: mango [at] tokyomango [dot] com with subject line: Make t-shirt contest. Deadline is Monday, March 23, a week from today.

The winner will get a Make t-shirt custom-made by yours truly! You can see some more designs at the Maker Shed apparel store to get an idea of what the t-shirt might look like. But be warned—the final design will be at my discretion.

Contest: Win a beautiful 2009 MUJI planner

When it comes to daily planning, I'm totally analog. I've tried tinkering with iCal, but I don't like it. It doesn't make sense to me. What makes sense to me is writing what I have to do each day in boxes designated for those days, and to write To Do Lists on blank sheets, ideally interspersed between the day boxes so you can plan week by week.

For the last couple of years, I've been using these very simple, good-looking, practical planners from MUJI. I bought a white B5 sized one this year. But what do you know—my awesome little brother in Tokyo bought me the same thing as part of my birthday present! Anyhow, now I have two, so I'm going to be giving one away here.

Contest rules are simple: Send an email to: tokyomango[at]gmail[dot]com with the subject line "MUJI calendar contest" before Obama's inauguration next Tuesday. Include your name, address, and one great Japan story link you found in the news over MLK weekend. I'll post my favorite story on Tuesday and send my tipster the calendar that day, too, so you can start using it ASAP. Sorry, US only.

UPDATE: Since you guys are such amazing tipsters (and should tip me more often!), I may post more than one link from you guys on the blog. Ultimately, I'll pick my favorite one on Tuesday and send the planner to that person. If I used your tip but you didn't win, I'll still send you something anyway.

Vote for TokyoMango in the 2008 Weblog Awards

I just learned that TokyoMango is up for a 2008 Weblog Award. The Weblog Awards = the Oscars of the blogging industry. Except you, not a panel of old geezers, gets to vote for the winners. Oh yeah, and you get to vote once a day until the deadline of January 13th.

As of right now, TokyoMango—up for the Best Asian Blog title—has only has 32 votes. (Voting was open from December 1, but even I didn't know about the nomination until now. Yikes.) But if you, me, and every other TokyoMango reader voted for TokyoMango every day, that means we could probably win. And if we win, I'll throw a big party!

So...VOTE HERE. And then vote again at the same time tomorrow, and again the day after... Let's see if we can at least finish with a bronze.

TokyoMango reader holiday wish list

Hey guys! It's December 17th and that means that the TokyoMango Holiday postcard contest is official over! I got lots of letters from all of you, thank you. I picked 20 readers at random to send holiday cards to. Those should be getting to you shortly...so keep an eye out!

More importantly, you all sent me emails saying what Japan-themed holiday present you wanted this year. It's an amazing compilation of all the great things people miss or desire from Japan.

The TokyoMango reader holiday wish list:

- fresh, hot takoyaki (Tracy from Towson, MD)
- a black shoji table...or a USB humidifier (Jeff from Reseda, CA)
- ski trip with onsen and amazing Japanese food (Rachel from Taipei, Taiwan)
- reconnect with exchange program tutor circa 2005 (Atte from Tampere, Finland)
- a visit from the amazing and yummy Tadanobu Asano! (Amanda from Statesboro, GA)

Enter to win the TokyoMango cool holiday postcard contest

 

Dear TokyoMango Readers,

Happy Holidays!

This year, instead of just putting up a bunch of silly Santa posts on my blog, I've decided to send out personalized Holiday Cards to my readers. Last Gasp and Chronicle Books (the guys who published Urawaza) are two smart, creative book publishers who also have these amazing Japanese art postcard collections by artists like Ai Yamaguchi, Nara Yoshitomo, Hideshi Hino, and the guys at Gama-Go. 

Since I can't send out postcards to everybody, I'm going to have a little contest. All you need to do is email a short letter to tokyomango [at] gmail [dot] com with the subject line "TokyoMango Holiday Card" telling me what Japan-related thing you want for Christmas. I'll pick 20 entries at random to send these very special postcards to, so don't forget to include your mailing address in the email!

Those of you who don't win...keep an eye out for a blog post around Christmas with a giant list of everything TokyoMango readers want for Christmas. Feel free to send images too. Contest deadline is Wednesday, Dec 17th.

Thanks for reading!

Love, Lisa

Announcing the WoodBot Contest Winner

Thanks everyone for sending me robot jokes for my WoodBot Contest! I had some good laughs, but I have to say, the dirty joke got me. Sophie from Sacramento, I'll be sending you a WoodBot in the mail soon. And here's the winning robot joke:

Two friends are meeting for lunch one afternoon. One shows up to the other's office for their lunch date. As he's entering the office, he notices a hot secretary sitting at the reception desk.
"Hey, bud. How are you?"
"I'm good. Hey, that new secretary of yours is beautiful!"
"Well, I'm glad you like her. Believe it or not, she's a robot!
"No way! How could that be?"
"She's the latest model from Japan. Let me tell you how she works. If
you squeeze her left breast, she takes dictation. If you squeeze her
right breast, she organizes your file cabinets. And that's not all, you can also have sex with her!"
"You're kidding, right?"
"Nope. She's something, huh? Tell you what. I'll let you borrow her."
So his friend takes her into the restroom and is in there for a while. Suddenly, he hears his friend screaming in pain.
The guy says, "Oh crap! I forgot to tell him her ass is a pencil sharpener!"

Wired.com's ASCII Art Contest

I'm holding an ASCII art contest on The Underwire. You can win some Wired swag and a chance to have your masterpiece displayed on Wired.com. Rules and more info here.

Contest: Win a Limited Edition WoodBot

WoodBots are cute little wooden robot companions that will hang out on your desk while you work or sit on your dash while you drive. If you always wanted a Doraemon but he never showed up out of your desk drawer, this might be a good alternative. (You can just pretend your WoodBot has a magical door that will take you anywhere and a little propeller hat that can make you fly.)

Alexander Shen, the creator of WoodBots, sent me a couple of limited edition WoodBots to give away on TokyoMango. Yay. Each one is handmade and quite fragile, so I'm a little bit worried about shipping it. But hey, Alex got them to me safe, so I should be able to do the same, right?

To enter the contest, just email me your name, address, and a good robot joke with the subject line: WoodBot Contest. Winner will be chosen in a week. Thanks!

Announcing Death Note Contest Winners

Thanks everyone for entering the free movie ticket contest for Death Note! I've picked two winners based on how much I laughed—not freaked out—when I read about how you would use the killer notebook if it fell in your hands.

Linda said:

If the Death Note fell into my hands, I would use it to plot world domination, starting by assassinating of the Prime Minister of Malaysia in which all proceeds and child labor workers will be donated to the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good. Yay for charity!

 

Or I would give it to Viz Pictures in exchange for a housekeeper.

Keep reading for the other winning entry...

Contest: Win a Watch From the Future by Answering One Question...

If you know anything about cool Japanese watches, then you've probably visited Tokyoflash.com, home of futuristic wrist accessories that look like they could do a gazillion things that watches aren't really supposed to do. So here's my proposal:

You tell me what you think any one of the Tokyoflash watches would be able to do in an alternate universe, and the people with the three best answers will get a free Tokyoflash watch!

For example, I'm pretty sure the Shinshoku (shown above) can double as a Chinese Checkers board. And one of those has to be an alien ship. Winners will be picked by a contest crew in Tokyo a week from now. You can submit your responses to mango@tokyoflash.com.

Make a Short Video, Win A Free Trip to SF & Tons of Movie Tix

I've covered a lot of local film fests in the last couple years, but the SF Int'l Asian American Film Festival is by far my favorite. It has the biggest, most refined selection of Japanese and other movies from Asia, and it's put together in part by my friend and occasional Tokyomango guest blogger Taro Goto.

This year, the Festival is holding an awesome contest, where you can win 2 free tix to SF, 4 nights at the manga-themed Hotel Tomo, a $500 shopping spree at Macy's, and two all-access passes to all the movies at the festival. All you have to do is make a 26-second video about why you should be the next festival blogger.

As a festival blogger, all you have to do is write one blog post about your experience at SFIAAFF. Easy.
Deadline is Friday, so hurry!
More details and submission link here.

Blow Up Doll Photography Contest

Japan's greatest sex doll company, Orient Doll, is holding its second annual CandyGirl Photography contest right now. Entries are due by November 15—everyone who has a blow up doll from this company and knows how to angle her beautifully has a fair shot at winning the grand prize of 200,000 yen ($1700) or one of 8 1st prizes of 100,000 yen.

Last year's winner was an image of a young pink-skinned silicone princess that looks like she just got wet in the rain. Sexy.

Contest flyer (Thanks, Rog!)

 

Monkeys and Dogs Doing Sit-Ups

The average Japanese boy can do 19 sit-ups a minute. But what about the average monkey, or the average bulldog? This hilarious video, featuring Pan the Monkey and James the Bulldog, investigates.

I love how there are real kids seriously trying to set records right on the same mat.

Win an Instant Ramen Emergency Kit

You never know when you're gonna have to flee your home, and that's why The Institute for Fire Safety and Disaster Preparedness recommends that everyone have an emergency kit. For a limited time, you can win this awesome instant ramen emergency kit—so much better than Clif Bars!

Here's some more info:

The package contains:

-- Five servings of instant ramen noodles
-- Three 500-milliliter bottles of mineral water
-- A stainless cup
-- Solid fuel
-- A barbeque lighter
-- A pair of chopsticks
-- A wet towel

To apply for the giveaway, send a postcard with your address, name, age, sex, occupation and phone number to:

"Instant Ramen Bosaishoku Kit" Present (Mainichi Daily News) Gakari
DPR 2-16-7 Ginza Chuo-ku, Tokyo 104-8210

You do have to live in Japan, unfortunately, to enter the contest. I am going to enter anyway, even though I don't live there, by using my parents' and all my high school friends' addresses. Tee hee.

Link

The World Beetle Championships

I never really understood why, but playing with beetles and crayfish has always been a favorite pastime for Japanese kids. I remember going to the park near my elementary school and watching the boys pick these things up with their hands and play with them.

But this the first I've heard of the Beetle World Championships. The tourny was held today in Tokyo, and kids like these put numbers on their favorite beetles, put them in a miniature fighting ring, and made them battle until one prevailed as the ultimate beetle champion of the world.

Link

Gentlemen, Start Your Enzymes

It's Saturday night, and I'm sitting on the couch watching ESPN. Guess what's on? The 2007 Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. Now if you all have been following the news, you know that Takeru Kobayashi didn't win this year, losing out to San Jose native Joey Chestnut. (Chestnut ate 66 hot dogs in 12 minutes; Kobayashi downed 63.) Chestnut's been vying to beat Kobayashi in this competition—any competition, for that matter—for years, and now he's finally done it.

Despite acute jaw pains that kept his participation up in the air until the day of, Kobayashi rolled up to the Coney Island contest grounds in a black limo with two big bodyguards and his wife/girlfriend/woman friend. Clearly, Coney Island was the place to be this 4th—thousands upon thousands lined the streets to see who was gonna take home the Mustard Belt.

Other contestants included Patrick Bertoletti, who beat Chestnut in a jalapeno-eating competition earlier this year; Tim Janus, who paints signature Xes around his eyes with face paint; two super-cute Asian women, Juliette Lee and Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas; Crazy Legs "Houdini of Cuisini" Conti; a 63-year old grandpa; and a vegetarian.

So what's next on ESPN? The USA Rock Paper Scissors Championship. I'm serious! Next Saturday. I hope I have something better to do next Saturday then watch that shit, but if I don't, I'll post an update.

Chestnut didn't win any money, btw—just a one year supply of hot dogs. Barf.

Froggy Lunch Wins Top Spot at Award Show

You are looking at the winner of the Character Bento (Lunchbox) Contest, which was held in Tokyo yesterday. The lunch was titled: Even Rainy Days Are Fun!—timely, since rainy season's about to kick off. As you can see, creativity thrives on this lunch plate, which features sausages cut like flowers and a red pepper designed to look like an umbrella.

The lunch was judged not only on aesthetics but on nutritional value. It's true—not only does this look pretty, it looks healthy! Except I'd feel really bad about eating something that clearly took so much time to design...actually, I take that back. I'm hungry, and I'll eat anything right now.

Link

Legendary Hot Dog Eater Has Jaw Arthritis

Remember Takeru Kobayashi, the tiny little Japanese man who ate 97 hamburgers in 8 minutes last fall? Almost miraculously, the guy has evaded any gastronomical problems to date—but last week, Kobayashi claimed he was suffering from arthritis in his jaw, a result of misaligned wisdom teeth + his hard core eating skillz.

Kobayashi's attendance will make or break the championship at the Coney Island Hot Dog Eating contest, which takes place in New York next week. He won the last six years by a landslide. He is currently on standby at a New York City hotel, waiting for his jaw to get better. Right now, he can only open his mouth about 2-3cm.

We'll see whether he makes an appearance next week, July 4, to get his seventh title—or if a 3cm-wide mouth just isn't enough to beat his competition.

For more on Japan's "food fighting" industry, read this article.

James is the Design Contest Winner!

Guess what? James is the big winner of the Tokyomango design contest! The majority of you thought that his design was the awesomest, and I agreed. Even though everybody did a great job.

Pictured left are James' sexy legs. He got those koi tattoos in Japan. Yeah, I know. There's no leg hair. I wondered about that, too, but James insists it's neither Nair nor Gilette:

"I do NOT shave my legs. I'm just naturally... more aerodynamic. ;)"

Interestingly enough, even though this is a Japan-themed blog and I am based in the U.S., most of the contestants were neither here nor there. We had 2 from Germany, 2 from Australia, 2 from Singapore, 1 from Argentina, 1 from Canada, and a couple of unknowns. But how rad is that? Thanks you guys! I'm sending all of you some Tokyomango swag courtesy of Strap-ya, so look out for it in your mailboxes in the next week or so!

Coincidentally, James—the winner—not only lives in San Francisco, but works in my building!! It was really weird when we found that out. He is a professional web designer (no surprises there), and we sat down together yesterday to brainstorm the final look of the new site.

So...Congratulations to James for winning, thanks to everyone who entered for their beautiful designs and thanks to everyone who voted for their 2 cents!!

And look out for a redesigned, new and improved Tokyomango in July!

Design Contest Top 3 Finalists

Guess what guys? We're on the home stretch of the Tokyomango Design Contest, and we've got our Top 3 Finalists (based on your votes, sent to me both as comments and in emails). I know you guys voted already, so don't feel like you have to do it again. But any comments, suggestions, etc. are always welcome. I'll be announcing the winner on MONDAY.

Note: Designer James sent me 2 revised designs later in the week, so I'm subbing those in for his last 2, which got the most votes anyway.

Design Contest Peripherals: Mascots and Logos

Got some peripherals (?) from the site design contest call for submissions—a mascot idea and a logo design. Look, I have green hair and a little mango friend! Two little mango friends!

Mascot design from James:

Logo design from Vinod:

More Design Contest Entries: Your Vote Please!!

More awesomely talented readers have submitted design ideas for this blog, and I need your advice. Which one do you like?? Leave a comment or email me your pick this week, and I'll announce the finalists over the weekend.

Don't forget to check out all of them—there are 10 total, and if you don't see them all here, click on the "Read more" link at the bottom to jump to the extended post.

1. Van's design:

Design Contest Update: Which One Do YOU Like So Far?

The Tokyomango.com design contest's still rolling (keep the entries coming! I'm loving your ideas), but I wanted to show you guys some of the entries I've gotten so far. Which one do YOU like, and why? Please leave a comment or email me your thoughts—feel free to ramble, I want to hear what you think—on these entries.

Entry 1                                                                     Entry 2

Two more after the jump.

TOKYOMANGO Site Design Contest Reminder

Just a reminder post to all web designers and creative types to submit entries for the Tokyomango site design contest!

1. Email me your entries in PSD or JPG format.The layout has to accommodate all the stuff on the current site, and be compatible with 1024x768 browser resolution. Also include a note about your coding skillz please--as in, whether you are able to theme your design yourself or if you need someone else to code it.
2. In the next few weeks, I'll post some of the top candidates here for you guys to look at and vote on. Of course, my votes counts the most, because it's my site! But I want to hear what you all think, too.
3. The winning design will replace this shitty Typepad template as the face of Tokyomango.com.

Prizes!! All legitimate entries will get a mini-prize, the top 3 will get fun gadgets from the Mango stash, and the winner will get the mother or all prizes and street cred for designing an up-and-coming blog with over 180,000 unique visitors per month, plus a blog entry dedicated to whatever you want--whether it's your awesome design skillz or your favorite anime character.

Remember to get me your entries by the end of the month--or if you need more time, just let me know. Multiple entries are totally allowed and so is swearing. But no porn please, because Google might take down my ads again.

And many thanks to those of you who already sent entries!

Tokyomango Site Design Contest

It's been six months since I started Tokyomango, and I'm still using this sucky Typepad template. So I decided to have a design-my-site contest!

I'm looking for amateur or professional web designers who have grand ideas about what Tokyomango could be, but isn't. Here's how the contest will work:

1. Email me your entries in PSD or JPG format.The layout has to accommodate all the stuff on the current site, and be compatible with 1024x768 browser resolution. Also include a note about your coding skillz please--as in, whether you are able to theme your design yourself or if you need someone else to code it.
2. In the next few weeks, I'll post some of the top candidates here for you guys to look at and vote on. Of course, my votes counts the most, because it's my site! But I want to hear what you all think, too.
3. The winning design will replace this shitty Typepad template as the face of Tokyomango.com.

Prizes!! All legitimate entries will get a mini-prize, the top 3 will get fun gadgets from the Mango stash, and the winner will get the mother of all prizes and street cred for designing an up-and-coming blog with over 180,000 unique visitors per month, plus a blog entry dedicated to whatever you want--whether it's your awesome design skillz or your favorite anime character.

Let all your web designer friends know about this, too, please. Thanks!

Deadline: End of the month. i.e. by May 30 07.

Announcing the Bomb Clock Contest Winner

Last week, I held a contest asking what you would do if you only had half a day in Tokyo. Reading your answers gave me a random sampling of what people thought of when they thought of Tokyo. A lot of cosplay, porn, Pokemon, sushi, and karaoke!

And some random thoughts spawned from your answers:

- Peter, you said you'd look for a vegan restaurant. I'm curious if anyone knows of one in Tokyo? I once brought a vegetarian friend from the US here, and had the hardest time feeding her. I believe vegetarianism is a Western concept, and when you ask a waitress if they have eggs or beef broth in their cooking they just look puzzled.

- Harry, you said you'd take the Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra out for karaoke and DDR. That's awesome, man. If you ever do it, do let me know if they can sing and dance.

- I love the romantic "I'd kidnap my girlfriend and take her home to America with me" and "I'd look for a job so my wife and kids could be closer to the Japanese side of the family" ones. How sweet!

- My heartfelt regrets to Niko, who was hit by a taxi last time he was here. I once got my foot run over by a taxi near my parents' house, too.

It's really hard to judge whose ideal half day is the "best." But there was one that I felt grasped the full, real Tokyo experience in all its present-day quirks and beautiful traditions...

Contest/Giveaway: Win A Bomb Alarm Clock

Strap-Ya sent me a bunch of swag to give away to Tokyomango readers, and the first one I'm gonna offer up is this awesome diffuse-a-bomb alarm clock that will have you waking up with a pseudo-heart attack every morning!

The person with the best response to the following question will get this bad boy in the mail in about 2 weeks:

If you only had half a day in Tokyo, what would you do, and why?

Just imagine that money and transportation from Narita are not an issue, and leave your response in the comments (or email me if you're shy about it). Be funny, be serious, be creative, be you. I'll announce the winner a week from today on the site.

The I'm-Not-Bald-Anymore Contest

Every year, Reve 21, a company that makes hair growth products for men (kinda like the Rogaine of the East, we could say) has a contest to determine the person who most successfully reversed the process of balding. This is no joke! I mean, the winner gets 3 million yen and the chance to show off his new 'do--which is NOT a toupee like Donny Trumps--in front of the whole country. This year's was the 7th annual, and as you can see, this man has a beautiful mane of thick black hair now. And a lot of cash.

(Thanks, Felicity!)

Crying Baby Contest

Every year, at the Saikyoji Temple in Nagasaki, dozens of babies gather together to have a crying competition. The object of the match is to get your baby to start bawling before the other baby.

As you can see in this picture from this year's competition, held just this past Saturday, the babies are dressed in traditional Japanese festival gear, and it looks like, in this one, the little round baby boy beat the little round ponytailed girl.

In the case of a tie, the louder baby wins. The grand champion wins sedatives and free kiddy therapy.

Link

Announcing the Kami-Robo contest winner!

Thanks to all of you who entered my Win a Kami-Robo Crafting Kit contest! While I'm sure each and every one of your imagined paper robot fighters would kick ass in a hot-and-heavy paperfight, my judging team and I have decided to award Unagi Fury for his a hot-headed nature, slippery tendencies, a phallic shape, and a big mouth. Hey Unagi, I wish I could see you and your tag team partner Pumice in action. Must be hot and heavy like your temper.

Congratulations, you've got a paper robot crafting kit coming your way.

Win a Kami-Robo crafting kit!

The holidays are coming up, and you probably have a little nephew who loves robots. What better gift than a robot crafting kit? You can re-create one of Kami-Robo designmaster Tomohiro Yasui's original fighters, The Ole, by following simple instructions included with the parts. (It's mostly illos, with some Japanese text. But hey, it's a good opportunity to polish your kanji or your crafty intuition.) Upon completion, he will be 34cm tall and able to kick anybody's ass.

Papercraft has a long tradition in Japanese culture; art forms like origami and kiri-e have been around forever, and washi paper is famous worldwide for how pretty and expensive it is. So it's only natural that robots would come in an intricate, pulp version too.

So you can buy a kit for $22 here, or you can win my Kami-Robo contest and get one mailed to your door for free. To enter the contest, just answer this question:

If you were a paper robot fighter, what would your stage name be and why?

Results will be announced in a week!

Announcing the Golden Poop Contest Winners...

Happy Halloween!

3 lucky winners of Lisa's Golden Poop Contest will be getting a golden-poop-in-a-baseball-mitt cell phone strap, and they are:

- thebatya, who said: "poop joins mother with daughter, brother with sister, enemy with enemy, lover with lover from generations past and future for and from eternity." Holy crap. That's deep.

- some dude, who said: "I made friends yesterday with a cabbie from England—we both get emergency poops. Except he's ok with squatting. Under I-280. In Bayview. And getting spotlighted by the SFPD." Actually, some dude, the real winner is the cabbie from England. Can we send him the golden poop please?

- the anonymous commenter who said poop tastes like chicken. How the hell did you figure that?

If you haven't already, e-mail me your address so I can send you your shit.

Japan's first abalone race leaves spectators hungry and bored.

October 21 was an important day at the Awa Museum in Tateyama. That's because the first abalone race was held there that day. Several competitive abalone--including Awabi Impact, whose name is a parody of the champion racehorse Deep Impact--were given numbers and flags, then exposed to a sudden burst of light which would make them start racing to the opposite end of the 2-meter pool. Excited spectators--mostly grandmas, as you can see in the photo--gathered to witness, but the race was so frigging slow that most of them just got hungry. You can guess what they had for dinner that night. Full story here.

Lisa's Win-A-Golden-Poop Contest

A lot of people e-mailed me asking how they can get a golden poop cell phone strap, too. Well, I have a secret to share with you all. I'm a closet golden poop collector! (Shhhh...don't tell anyone...)

Anyway, I decided to give away some of my stash if you can answer this question:

Why in the world do Japanese people love poop so much??

Leave your response and contact info in the comments section under this post, and I'll send a lucky few winners their very own poop.